Circumstances Dictating Joy?

I really have a problem in letting my circumstances dictate my attitude. Sports is a big one of these in my everyday life. Aggie sports in particular. If the football team wins a game, I feel great for the rest of the day, my joy is dictated by the fact that my favorite football team won a game (silly huh?). If we lose... my day is pretty much shot. I have to stay away from certain websites, one of which I work for because i know I'll just get more pissed from reading what other pissed off people are writing about. In addition to that, I spend the entire next week convincing myself that it's going to be OK, the season isn't totally shot, and (most importantly) it is just a game.

My weight, same story different verse. For a long time I was the guy who was really good at losing weight. It was like someone walked up to me, hooked a faucet up to my gut, and turned it on full bore. For nine months or so the fat just fell off of my body. Every week someone was telling me how good I looked, or wow, this is a good week for you dude. I let the fact that I was good at losing weight define who I was as a person. Just like I had let the fact that I was really fat for a long time define who I was (albeit in a much more negative light). Getting over this is tough on me, hence the reason I'm writing this blog, another thing I'm trying to help myself get through this rough patch of weight loss.

New of the day, I'm down to 260.8 pounds. That's big for me, since i havent really been down below 265 since, well... I don't really know when. I remember being in high school my junior year, and getting down to about 275, and I remember being a freshman and weighing in during football practice at 236, but those are really the last weights I have to go by. This puts me at a weight that I haven't seen since the awkward times of post-freshman-year in high school, through my junior year. That is a long time, but a really short time to put on something like 40+ pounds of fat.

I know that I made mention of the fact that i wanted to quantify how i was feeling with more than just weight lost each week. That means that when i lose weight i want myself to feel good about more than just dropping a few pounds, and when i gain weight, i dont want that terrible feeling to ruin my entire day. Right now I have quite a bit to be excited about:

• In a week we're heading to Arkansas for a back country trip down the Buffalo River


• All three of my roommates are graduating this coming Friday/Saturday


• Work is fun right now, and we have some big stuff getting ready to roll out in the very near future.

These things, coupled with the fact that I have actual weight loss (not just water loss) mean that I'm feeling pretty good about these new meals I'm trying out. Plus the workout this morning was insane, below, in picture form, what we had to do...

200 Squats at 175 lbs.(this seems about right)

200 Sumo Squats with 53 lb. Kettle Bell

100 Row to Narrow Push up w/ 40 lb. Dumbbell

All in all I got my butt kicked this morning, but I was more than willing to take it, since I had lost weight for the first time in a while. But there has to be more, I'm just not sure I can see all of that right now.