All Good Things Come to an End

I guess it's true, all good things must come to an end. Blogger and I have had a pretty good run. Though, I've decided it's time to move on. Leaving one blog site for another feels a bit like breaking up with a girl only to have another all lined up and ready to go right away. I feel like I need to take a shower and scrub my hands really good. That can wait though, because now it's time to announce:

http://andrewkilzer.wordpress.com/

"Oooh, aaaahhh." Is I'm sure what most of you are thinking. Well go ahead, click the link and check it out. All of the old stuff from this site is over there too, as well as some new stuff that just went up today.

I'm Weighting Patiently and I have had a good run, but all good things must come to an end. And for us this is it. Later old friend.

See you guys at the new site!

Smallish Victories Right?

When losing weight I look for the small victories. Those are the ones that lead to the bigger ones at the end of the road. My motto, and I'd be surprised if I were the first one to notice this, is that lots of little wins adds up to a big one at the end. A pound here and a half pound there are significant to me these days.

After comgroup tonight Ross asked me what I was down to (Ross is really good about asking this question in non-threatening ways) in the weight department. Not having a solid answer for him I said, "Oh 240 something." Thinking that it was a lot more than where he would be on a scale. His response though shocked me when he was getting on to me about saying it in the tone that I did. He pointed out that I'm only like 20 pounds away from being in the 220's which at one point seemed totally impossible! Pretty cool. Small-ish victories.

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On a completely unrelated note, I'm applying for a Fulbright Grant. The grant is awarded to lots of people wanting to travel oversees and study. They have partnerships in lots of areas of the world and with lots of people worldwide. Which means that they want you to be very qualified in order to receive one of these grants. This, as it turns out, is a pretty reasonable assumption on their part since if you get it its like getting about $40,000! I don't care who you are that's a boatload of cash.

Reading the names and bios of past winners though makes me feel like sort of a loser. Many of them have names of schools like Stanford and Harvord after their names. And other things like 'awards' and 'real accomplishments'. Pssh! I say Pssh, but really in my heart I'm asking the question, "Holy crap, am I qualified for this? Probably not." I hate doing that to myself, but it helps me keep expectations low so if I'm not able to deliver it's not as big a disappointment.

However, thinking about this King we serve, he doesn't always like to do things in a conventional way. I was accepted to Newcastle on a whim. I'm applying for this grant at the last minute-ish, and maybe just maybe this is where the Lord has me going next year and wont stop at anything from getting me there. That's where I'm at with that, and this is the end of this.

Peace.

Frustration

I haven't blogged in quite some time. Probably because my weight loss has come to a strange stop, and I'm frustrated. It started when I tried to go onto the Zone Diet, and decided that it just wasn't for me right now, and then went back to Eating for Life. I thought, this will be an easy transition back, but with weekends away, a 24th birthday, and parents coming into town, life has been anything but normal lately, and my eating has suffered as a result.

That's where I am with that. It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted a loss on the scale, and I'm getting discouraged. It seems like once you're in the groove weight comes off so easily, but as soon as you get out of that routine for just a bit, it's a real pain in the butt to get back into it.

I'm still going though, and hopefully I'll get back to progress soon enough.

Higher Jesus, Higher!

Last week I told you that I was going to try and start eating according to 'The Zone' diet. Well, I had intended on going to the store and gearing up for the first week of being in the zone, but that didn't happen until Sunday morning, so I've not been on the diet for more than 12 hours now, but it feels good so far.

The way you eat breaks down like this:
- Food is broken up into one of three macronutrient categories: protein (for rebuilding muscle), carbohydrate (for sustained energy), and fat (because your body uses it as a lubricant if you will).
- Blocks are used to denote how much of something you should eat to get the correct amount at each meal (1 block protein = 7 grams of protein, 1 block carbs = 9 grams of carbs, 1 block fat = 1.5 grams of fat).
- I'm trying to eat no more than 20 blocks in a day, meaning that at each of my 5 meals, I'm trying to consume 4 blocks of protein, 4 blocks of carbs, and 4 blocks of fat.

It takes some getting used to, but I'm confident that this last 25-30 pounds will come off relatively quickly if I can stick to this diet closely, then I'll reevaluate and determine where I'd like to go from there.

I dropped down to 248.8 pounds this morning. That's significant because last Wednesday I was down to 249.6, and I was thinking that it was just lost water weight, but with this finding this morning, I'm thinking that it's actual fat being burned off. I'm going to start seriously looking at taking creatin (sp?) to build up some more muscle. Who doesn't want to be totally jacked right? Well not me, I'd just like some more wiggle room within my diet.

--End of workout post, beginning of church related post--

Last night at church we discussed more of what we as Christian's should be hoping for about heaven. Both the physical and the spiritual side of things, and how that relates to the bodies that we presently occupy here on earth. Thad didn't go too far into things, so I'm not going to sit here and discuss something I don't yet comprehend, but he did ask a fun question: what is one thing that you're really hoping for when we get to heaven?

Some of the answers were typical:
- Seeing Jesus
- No more pain
- Seeing loved ones again
- Big pearly gates

I had an answer in mind, but in an effort not to look like a total attention whore, I didn't speak up. You know when you have a baby that's about 7-11 months old or so? They are at that point where they are able to interact with you and have fun, laugh, and smile (I do really well with these babies, not so much with the ones who can't yet emote). I love throwing them up in my hands, letting them just escape my grip and then catching them again. The babies seem to love it as well. Well my dream for when I get to heaven is to have Jesus do that with me. Silly huh?

Back to Basics

I was told this morning that I hadn't blogged about working out/losing weight in quite a while. There's a reason that this is the case, and it's mainly because I was feeling a little narcissistic about always detailing how I'm trying to change myself and look better. It was beginning to feel like one of those crappy reality shows where some 'celebutant' is trying to better herself and expecting us all to enjoy watching/reading about it.

I will say though that I've gotten down to 250 lbs. as of this morning. That seems crazy to me. 250 lbs! It's taken a bit longer than I would have expected a year ago today, if you had asked me then I'd have told you that by now I'd be at around 200 pounds. Things change and the process has gotten a lot harder than it was at the beginning. I'm still trying to tighten up my eating routine, trying to find new and more fun ways of working out (riding my bike, playing basketball, playing ultimate frisbee), and trying to be open in this whole process.

Nighttime eating is still my biggest problem. I try and have my big meal at breakfast, usually about 400 calories after a workout, with black coffee, or around 300 calories if I don't workout one morning, with black coffee. Then snack--lunch--snack--dinner--snack. It's that last three that really start to throw me off. I love carbs and sugar, and comfort foods (which typically involve lots of thsoe three things!). Danny has agreed to loan me his Zone Diet book. From my knowledge this is the diet they put olympic athletes on, and we've all seen how cut up they are. well... that's sort of my goal, but not entirely.

I'll keep you posted early next week when I've started on the Zone with a few earlys thoughts about what it's like.

Plus the Aggies lost, and that sucks.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Jared and I watched, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, tonight. You need to see this movie. I've never blogged about a movie before, and the three of you that read this blog can attest to that. But trust me here, I don't say this lightly, this movie is worth the time, every time.

IMDB Rotten Tomatoes

Capturing the frustration in this man's life during this time period was masterful. The fact that I was completely pissed the first five minutes of the movie, proves that film can convey emotion. I love that when the movie progresses, you progress with the character. You feel what he feels. You grow as he grows. It is tedious at the beginning for us, you and the lead, to communicate anything, but as you move through the plot it becomes easier and easier. Not that it is ever simple to follow, but rewarding for sure.

Watch it.

Operation Love Bomb

I'm not a very good customer. Most of the time when I walk into a store like Best Buy, I know exactly what I want/need and go to find it. Very rarely do I go into a store, this seems to happen at Gap more than anywhere else, and ask anyone for assistance. Most of the time it'll be asking the cute girl working what she thinks of a certain color. (I know full well that 99% of the time that wont lead to anything but her typical sales pitch, however I've decided that if I ask enough 'opinions' it might turn into something... anything... maybe.)

I worked as a carney for a summer. It was a terrible job where I had to try and sell people rides on this crappy motion simulator at a mall in Houston. I hated it, and I'm pretty sure most of the mall customers hated me as well.

I bring this up because I was walking into work one day last week and I was, as the guy I work with put it, 'love bombed.' Love bombed, huh? Yes, Jehovah's Witness style aerial assault. It was a friendly looking old cowboy looking into the window's of the building where we office, I said "Hello," and continued walking, until he said, "Can I ask you a question?" The things that started racing through my mind were, "Oh crap, he's homeless and needs a ride," and "Oh, this nice old man just needs to know where a certain building is located." "Sure," I responded, really thinking nothing much of it.

Until he pulled out his folder full of Watchtower pamphlets. Quickly he asked me something about being depressed when someone I knew passed away, and how we all have a hard time dealing with stuff like that. I agreed, in a short answered sort of way, and tried to get the heck outta there, when I refused to take his pamphlet (no need in taking something that's just going into the garbage in the next five minutes I decided) he started in.

"Can I ask you another question?" Old Cowboy guy said.
"Ok," hesitant, noticeably flustered and nervous Andrew, replied.
"What did Jesus say we could look for to know when he was coming back?"
"Um... we could look to the sky right?" It took me a second to remember something that would qualify as a good enough Sunday school answer here, as I've been out of practice in answering these random questions like this for some time now.
"Exactly! When wars and rulers are coming to power, that's when we need to look to the sky to see that Jesus is near."
"Ok."
"Now take this pamphlet."
"No thanks, I've gotta go to work."
"Hmmm... well have a nice day."
(Andrew hurries off to the door to his building.)
Scene.

Why does something like this bother me so much? I should be impressed that someone believes in something so much that they're willing to go out and share it with the world (even if it's something I don't also believe in). I think it's because he has a rehearsed script, while I'm just speaking on the fly. He knows precisely what I'm going to say, and has a scripted response to just that. He doesn't really know who I am. He likely didn't even care. He was a salesman on the street trying to get me to buy into something without doing the work required.

I don't like that. I think we as Christians should work more to try and 'save' people. (Realize I'm not saying I agree with Old Cowboy guy, he's just an example of something that happened to me recently, and is good for the point I'm making here.) I don't think we see people enough when we just pass out tracks. I've only been a part of doing that once, and it was hands down the strangest thing I've ever been a part of. People were freaked out. Getting love bombed in the middle of your day isn't the greatest feeling.

I don't know where else this is going to go. That's about all I have right now.

We're drafting our fantasy league tonight. Hopefully I can keep my streak alive and beat Michael for the second year in a row. (Dude talks a lot of trash even though he's NEVER BEATEN ME, not even in a weekly game, let alone the championship. Just saying.)